OK, I know everyone is different and every pregnancy is unique... but here is the truth about what happened to moi during labor, delivery and the postpartum period. Some things I wish I knew about, some things I wish I didn't, some things I wish I never did...
LABOR:
Focal points my ass. All you hear about is breathing through contractions, try to relax, listen to music, find a focal point, walk around, get a massage... Are you serious? There comes a point where absolutely nothing is going to make you feel better. By the time I was at 5 centimeters all I wanted to do was scream, get morphine, black out and wake up with a baby.
Not getting pain meds will speed up the process. From the time my water broke to the time I started pushing was 7 hours and 20 minutes. However, OUCH! It took me almost 3 days to dilate up to 5 cm, then it took only one and a half hours to dilate from 5 to 10. There's no telling what your body is going to do
Take a bath. It's relaxing during contractions. However, don't be surprised with all of the nasty stuff that ends up in the water. Blood, mucous, and who knows what else. I hated it because you have absolutely no control over whats coming out of your body. But at the same time, you really don't care.
Lastly, when you really need a hand to squeeze or someone to hold on to... either the nurse won't be there or your labor coach will be too busy texting everyone with updates (ahem... mom)
DELIVERY:
Seriously, what hole is that baby coming out of? It was unreal, but I felt so much pain in my butt. I honestly thought he was coming out of the "other end" if ya catch my drift.
As much pain as you can be in, pushing somehow seems to alleviate all of it. You get to a point and you just know yes, pushing would feel great
The amount of fluid that comes gushing out is unreal. I don't even know where it comes from.
POSTPARTUM:
It's like all of the pain immediately disappears and within 5 seconds you can't even remember what it felt like
You might be naked and it will take you about 30 minutes to realize it.
No matter how gross you think it is, they're going to plop the baby on top of you, body fluids, blood, crusties and all
No matter what you do, no matter how curious you may be... wait at least 3 weeks to look "down there." At least by that point it's somewhat back to normal.
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