Anxiety Sets In

In approximately 35 days (give or take) I will be delivering a baby.  Of course I've known that this day must come, and I've been looking forward to it since February.  However, knowing you have to do it and actually doing it are two very different things.  Now that the time is rapidly nearing I don't want to do it.  Yep, I'll admit it, I'm scared.  It's going to hurt like a biotch.  There's not a single woman on the planet who will say "oh it was painless and they just flew out, easiest thing I've ever done."  If you find one, let me know, I will worship her.  I'm going to complain, cry, scream, grunt, sweat, hurt, cramp, tear, bleed... I mean lets face it, the miracle of life is disgusting. I'm also paranoid about being stupid and not really knowing if I'm going into labor or not.  Or when and where my water is going to break.  Or what if I'm one of those girls on TV who all of a sudden a baby is hanging out of them and they're like oh my god, I'm having a baby! Beyond that, now I realize that I'm responsible for a life and responsible for who this child is going to become.  No big deal... (BIG DEAL)

Other than total anxiety setting in, I've come to realize that I really can't complain about this pregnancy.  I've had no sickness, no medical issues, no setbacks or concerns.  The baby has been healthy and squirming around all hours of the night.  Of course I've lost sleep, gained weight and discovered my first stretch mark (it's about a centimeter long, but it still counts!) but that's all expected. I'm also happy that I haven't had strangers rub my stomach yet.  I've heard that happens to people.  I get a lot of people staring at my stomach, probably thinking is she pregnant or fat?  I've had wonderful friends and family along the way to help me through, especially with the emotions and raging hormones. They've allowed me to vent about fears, anxiety and emotions. They've helped me validate and accept my craziness.  I've also been really lucky to have reconnected with old friends and it's always nice to feel the love and support while going through trying times.  It's really humbling to realize just how many people really care for me.  I am truly grateful to you all :]

So as an update, as of today I am officially 35 weeks along! It's possible that he's up to 18 inches and 6 pounds. I have to pee ALL THE TIME! His head is pressing on my bladder making things more urgent if ya catch my drift.   His hearing is fully developed, his liver and kidneys are developed and starting to produce his first poop.  How exciting ?!?!